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which is precisely where that “uniqueness” factor comes in.Someone – many people, really – may think that Channing Tatum is good looking but dull as a brick, while Jonah Hill can consistently make her laugh and feel good about herself.Based on these initial impressions, you would think that Tatum would be hands down the winner in any romantic contest, while Hill and Buscemi would be left to fight for the scraps of affection from any woman willing to have them like a pair of lonely methed-up gibbons with knives strapped to their arms. In fact, very few people (between 6% – 11%) fall in love at first sight or form a romantic relationship with someone they’ve recently met.
In evo-psych circles, a lot is made out of one’s “mating value” : that is, the aspects of attraction which are intrinsically based on certain favorable traits.
In a related study of approximately 350 heterosexual individuals, we collected these same measures in networks of opposite-sex friends, acquaintances and partners.
Among these well-acquainted individuals, consensus on measures of mate value was nearly zero. So why is it that people who may not necessarily push our buttons right off the bat become much more attractive to us? This is because of a psychological quirk that marketers have long exploited: the Exposure Effect.
as many a person who’s found themselves interested in their best friend (or their best friend’s sibling, for that matter) can tell you. This is known as the Reward Theory of Attraction: the more somebody’s presence makes us feel good, the more we prioritize that relationship.
We associate those feelings with that person and develop a new appreciation for them, a fondness for the things that make them uniquely doesn’t automatically mean that two people are going to fall in love.